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Gimme that! Geez. Guitar necks are not cat toys. Scram before I line your collar with cat nip so you can’t sleep tonight. Oh, sorry about that, folks! Just a little backstage difficulty that needed addressing, heh. Anyway, speaking of “dress,” there’s even more feline-ish products you can adorn your kitchen with!
Oven Mitts (Afraid of Getting Burned? Paw-lease!)
I think we can all agree that our skin is better when it’s not burned. Therefore, when removing items from the oven, it is preferable to use heat protection. For that, we have these adorable cat-themed oven mitts that look like paws. With hanging loops for easy storage and cotton material able to withstand temperatures up to 480 degrees Fahrenheit, these gloves are quite fur-midable.
Drink Markers (Your Memory Will Catch the Tail End of it)
Um, what the heck is a drink marker? Seriously, what- is- a drink marker? Sounds like something kids would use to write notes on their cup. Huh? Say again? They’re- unique drinking glass decorations to prevent people from mixing up whose is whose? Well that’s- clever and useful. I wonder why I never heard of them before… Oh, right, heh, the audience. Um, these ones are shaped like cats and come in six different colors, so they are a good choice for those with many feline-loving friends. No more mixin’ up those drinkeroos when you have company. Uh, meow and- stuff. SERIOUSLY, WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THE-
Timer (No Need to Pray You’ll Hear Your Timer with this Timer Prey)
As someone advertising a timer of all things, please do me the favor of forgetting the fact that nearly everything has a timer built in to lots of their stuff nowadays. Thanks.
♪ All around the timer top
The cat doth chase the gray mouse.
A cook will find this really cute.
Ding! through the house. ♪
A treat for cat lovers that bake treats, this 60-minute, loud buzzer will rile chefs from even the deepest of catnaps.
Refrigerator Magnet Holders (Hindquarters that Won’t Leave a Smear)
I have had so many nightmares where I looked around and suddenly didn’t have any refrigerator magnet holders. The thought is- beyond terrifying, anyone’s worst fear. Can’t you just imagine them being advertised Kellogg’s-corn-pops style?
“I’m sorry, Jenny. I don’t see the refrigerator magnet holders anywhere.”
“What? How is this possible!? My day is ruined! That’s okay, dad. I’ll put my keys somewhere else.”
“How about the table?”
“The table? Are you mad? It’s harder to pick them up off a flat surface and could scratch the wood. Oh, my six refrigerator magnet holders varying in size and color, conveniently storing my daily stuff for easy finding and grabbing- someone is hiss-tory if I don’t get them back NOW!”
“Oh, here they are. Your mom must have taken them off and put them in a drawer when she cleaned the frig.”
“Huisi’s set of six refrigerator magnet holders shaped like cat butts are part of a well-organized household.”
“I gotta have my refrigerator magnet holders.”
Door Hook (Introducing Roadkill the Butler Cat)
While not quite as epic as Captain Hook, the wonderful door hook has its place in life too. Adding space into your house by letting any door become an extra storage area, this is especially useful to cluttered domiciles. It’s a metal pair with two usable paws each making for a total of four aerial holders. And hey, even if you have nothing to put on these, they make for great décor for demented people, as, when in place, they kinda look like cats with their abdomens completely crushed. How un-fur-tunate for everyone else.
Shelf Hook (A Cat’s Balance at Play to Work)
There is a HUGE difference between door hooks and shelf hooks. I have a bachelor’s degree, so I already know it. No need for the uneducated to worry, though. I shall share my knowledge to any and all who seek it: One type is used on doors, and the other is meant for shelves. No thanks needed; I’m just happy to be of service. And speaking shelf hangers, I’ve got one here to share. Looking like a black cat, this hanger can hold things from coats to flower pots, and it requires no installation. Using gravity, it stays in place thanks to the weight of whatever you put on it. Now ain’t that the cat’s pajamas?
Tea Infuser (A Feline that Doesn’t Hate Water)
I just love that word, ya know? Infuser. Sounds so epic and science fiction-y. “Increase force fields to maximum capacity! He’s going to initiate the sequence to resonate with the thermal core of the infuser!” Though admittedly, adding the word “tea” does take a little bit of the dramatic edge off. At least this one looks like a sweet little kitty rearing up on the edge of your glass. And you can help the environment by forgoing tea bags which subsequently means less clean up after your drink is ready. Just pop some loose leaves in, rinse afterwards, and you have yourself a mighty fine evening with mew-nimum effort.
Rug (A Fuzzy Place to Stretch Your Paws)
Huh. For some reason, the designer thought that an image of a cat missing its eyes was the way to go. Oh well. Maybe someone out there has a soft spot for blind felines or maybe even knew or owned one. Either way, this rug is far from a catastrophe with these awesome features:
- Designed to not skid, so you can jump onto it and not have to worry about slidding into next week.
- Is washer safe, so you can toss the thing into the machine and say good-bye to any buildup of dirt.
- Made of a material that is extra absorbent, so wet feet and paws will have an easier time transitioning to dryness on this baby.
If you’re looking for a new mat, this one might be right up your back alley.
Cookie Cutters (An Uneven Game of Cat and Mouse)
“I’m beginning the surgery now. Just about. Almost done. And- perfect. Six bits of dough each shaped like a different cat.”
“Actually, doctor, one is shaped like a mouse.”
“Ah, thank you, nurse. That aside, these cookie cutters did an amazing job. Please hand wash and dry them.”
“Right away. I know not to put these in a dishwasher. And might I say what a great price these tin beauties were with a sharp edge for easy cutting.”
Ice Tray (Boring Ice Cubes are Just Clawful)
Awww! With ice in this tray, it looks like 10 kittens are nursing. You could even add food coloring to the water so that the ice cubes match the color of any cat(s) the recipient might have. Plus, it can be used for other things like a chocolate or soap mold. Your mailbox won’t be sore after giving birth to this fancy litter of cuteness.
Tongs (An Excellent Cat Name for One that’s Differently-Colored on Two Paws)
Think of tongs as an extension of your hand because- that’s exactly what they are. Facing the dangers of hot foods and icky fluids to protect your sensitive arm attachments, tongs truly deserve our admiration and respect. That’s exactly why someone made them look like pink kitty paws! They serve as soldiers to protect your flesh, and they look mighty darn dignified in the process. At 9.5 inches long and dishwasher safe, this are a fantastic set of paws that doesn’t need a scratching post.
Soap Dispenser (Sanitizer Instead of Hairballs from Your Cat’s Head)
One has to wonder why soap dispensers are called soap dispensers. I mean, they can dispense pretty much any liquid. You can put hot sauce in them, and they’d still perform beautifully. You might as well advertise flour as “fish coating material.” Be dat as it may, as spelling “that” in such a way is how the cool cat’s play, this kitty-shaped dispenser will brighten any bathroom any day.
Whether you’re a cat owner, furry, lover of feline-themed products, or sentient litter box that poops sodium bentonite, hopefully there was something in these last two lists that would make you purr. If that was something humans did anyway. Too bad people have yet to make an LED collar that spells threatening remarks when it detects cats’ fur standing up. Welp, I’d like to stick around and say a bit more, but- a cat got my tongue.