For Amazon Associates, I may get some dough.
I get a small commission if you click a link below.
When people make a purchase if they like something they see,
They won’t lose another cent, but there’ll be a prize for me.
I had to let you know ‘cause a disclaimer is required,
And following the rules to stay is kinda, ya know, desired.
/Sniff /Sniff Alas. Will there ever be a cookbook with pages that smell like thick, crispy bacon sizzling on a white Christmas morn on a Tuesday? Make it so, number one crowdfunding platform, Kickstarter. In the meantime, ever watched a show or played a video game and wanted to eat or drink what you saw in that cluster of pixels causing eye strain? From Harry Potter’s butterbeer to water of life from The Elder Scrolls, you actually can these days thanks to a website that rhymes with wamazon. Here’s hoping some alluring aromas waft into your nasal passages following the acquisition of any of these chef tomes stemming from the enchanting depths of the realms of fantasy. And science fiction. Yeah, that- that too.
Star Trek (Set Deliciousness to Stun) (Runner up: Mind Your Recipes and Q’s)
Prepare to drop your shields and activate your transporter because this collection of recipes is worth its weight in gold-pressed latinum. Several Star Trek recipes have been recreated albeit modified for some practicality. There are even non-alcoholic concoctions for hard drinks so that trekkies and everyone else can enjoy them. With over 300 pages to flip through and lots of behind-the-scenes information on how food was handled on the set of the show, this is one artifact that’ll help you live long and prosper.
Disney (A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Bakes)
Hold onto your turban, kid. Tiana ain’t the only cooking princess no more. This recipe book is not only filled with tasty and healthy treats for meals and deserts, but it beautifully illustrates the various princesses from Disney as they bake right along with you. Girls will adore it, but everyone can enjoy the wonderful world of deliciousness it transports you to on a dolphin-pulled chariot. Just try making a Rapunzel’s towering parfait, tilt the glass towards your mouth, and sing,
♪ Let it flow, let it flow.
Won’t keep it in anymore.
Let it flow, let it flow.
Slurp away and ask for more.
I don’t care what I got to pay.
Bring the brain freeze on.
The cold never bothered me anyway. ♪
The Elder Scrolls (I Used to Order Out until I Took This Cookbook to My Knee)
Assign that left trigger to making fire and the right one to using your knife because we have some recipes here sure to impress even a Dragonborn. This grimoire offers more than just that though! It explores Tamriel lore in areas such as the culture of its fantasy races and a map of its world. The style of the pages is even stylized after the gameplay, showing the difficulty level of the concoctions. Pretty much the only thing this cookbook doesn’t do is make the food for you. After all, it is not sworn to carry your burdens.
The Legend of Zelda (A Link to the Pasta)
She who is sharp of wit to consider a great deal like this one will have the triforce of wisdom bestowed. The triforce of power will bequeath itself to thee who has the strength to place an order for this tome. And he who is brave enough to try the tasty recipes contained within shall be granted the triforce of courage. The fine dining options adorning these pages range from elixir soup to deku nuts, and there are drinks, desserts, and just about whatever you can imagine. While this book may not have an affinity for pictures, its clear instructions and detailed methods for crafting a wide variety of Hyrulian dishes are sure to make guests grab their butter knife and shout, “Hyup! Hup! Hyahhhh!”
The Lord of the Rings (One Pan to Baste Them All, and on the Oven Braise Them)
Um, why isn’t this product called “Boil ‘Em, Mash ‘Em, Stick ‘Em in a Stew”? Like, hello? Was that title wearing the one ring when this book was conceived? Oh well. If you need ideas for second breakfast, this hardcover beauty has you covered and then some. With such appetizing menu items like “Gollum’s raw fish,” “dwarven spiced pickled beets,” and “farmer Maggot’s wild mushrooms on toast,” your mouth will be watering from Rivendell to Mordor. And for a little candy for your eyes, the pages have some mighty pretty images to feast upon. Even if you need to pack light for traveling to destroy some old jewelry in a dead guy’s mountain sauna, don’t let even a ranger talk you out of bringing this little book along.
Star Wars (Indeed These Flavors Are Powerful as the Emperor Has Foreseen)
Amazon doesn’t need to see your identification. This is the cookbook you’re looking for. You don’t want to go about your business. Don’t move along ‘cause where else are you gonna find recipes from across the galaxy like these? With choices like Mandalorian stew, Felucian garden spread, glo blue noodles, and many more, even members of the light side of the force can enjoy themselves for a change. Plus, this is an official product, so the empire won’t come after you for it. With such a substantive book, there’s only one detail left to bring to your emperor: When 176 pages you flip through, look as good, your fingers will not.
Pokémon (I Wanna Broil the Very Best Like No One Ever Has)
Wild MICROWAVE appeared.
“Pikachu Ramen, I choose you!”
Microwave uses Cook!
It’s super effective! Pikachu Ramen is no longer hard!
Pikachu Ramen uses Spin! Pikachu Ramen’s burn defense rose!
Microwave uses Beep!
Pikachu ramen fainted!
“That’s enough, Pikachu Ramen! You’re ready to be eaten!”
♪ There are dozens more recipes here to see.
To be a Pokémon baker is your destiny! ♪
World of Warcraft (Your Marinade Is Pathetic! Let Me Show You Mine)
Lok’tar ogar, friend! Whether stopping the Lich King from conquering Azeroth or preventing Deathwing from destroying it, ya gotta eat, bro. Would you care to start with beer-basted boar ribs with some conjured mana buns and Garr’s limeade to wash it all down? And you don’t even gotta worry about grinding mats or hitting up the auction house; nothing in this book requires you to max out your cooking skill. With simple instructions, cool artwork, and a clear passion for the culinary side of WoW, this book is sure to keep your stomach from constantly saying, “I need a target.”
Harry Potter (Wingardium Ravioli)
Forget casting spells, making potions, and riding broomsticks. Experiencing the magic of cooking from Harry Potter is where it’s at! Sure, Barnes & Noble may have some H.P. candies, but the entire edible side of the wizarding world is pretty much at your fingertips with this. Pumpkin pasties, treacle tarts, and even Kreacher’s French onion soup- obviously the one kids would be most excited about- are ready to be created in your muggle kitchen. There’s even a bit of storytelling to enjoy so that even the book itself has flavor. Whether or not you’re a Harry Potter fan, with food this good, you’ll want to split your soul into seven horcruxes so that you can keep eating it forever.
Game of Thrones (What Do We Say to the God of Hunger? Not Today)
Would you like to sit upon the iron throne? Well, that’s- kinda difficult now. However, you can sit upon a Game of Thrones cookbook! Since that would probably be a little uncomfortable though, why not use it to bake hearty dishes from throughout the seven kingdoms? While containing plenty of meals like rack of lamb and stewed rabbit, those with a sweet tooth will be especially pleased with options such as blueberry tarts, Wintercakes, Tyroshi honeyfingers, and plenty more, over 100 recipes in total. No need to pay the iron price OR the gold for this product though. Amazon accepts plastic cards just fine.
Ya know, I’m suddenly wondering if such a thing exists as edible cookbooks. Tch, yeah, imagine cookbooks that required a cookbook to make. They don’t have to be anything fancy; maybe even just a candy or something that has some recipe inscribed on one side. Let me just google this and- The search results are about- cannabis. Cannabis. Huh. Welp, I guess I’m giving up on this idea for now, but hey, at least I got to go out on a high note!